26 Oct In Her Words: Austin | Pflugerville Boudoir Photography
I met Elizabeth online in our Torrid Boudoir VIP Facebook group. She was seriously magnetic. I just knew she was going to be someone I would absolutely love to meet in person, and for sure someone I’d LOVE to photograph. I will get the pleasure to in a few months. She attended our first VIP event last April — that’s her on the far left in the purple shirt and cream sweater.
I asked the members in my group to consider writing a blog about how the feel before, during & after a session with me. I’m calling that “series” In Her Words. Elizabeth so graciously wrote about how she is feeling now, as she waits for her session to happen. Wow. what an incredible woman she is. I am constantly reminded how amazing this work is that I do. I am grateful and humbled.
Thank you Elizabeth. I love you.
In Her Words: Elizabeth
Growing up I was always a chubby kid and even as an adult. I was bullied growing up, but I had a body positive mother who always lifted me up and never once body shamed me. She would drive all over town to find the best plus size fashion. I never viewed myself as pretty. I went through a phase where I wore my brothers shirts and didn’t even comb my hair. Seemed like guys had it easier.
I don’t think I really started to look girly and feminine until I was a late teen and early 20’s is when I started to see men look at me as attractive. I would hear “oh you have such a pretty face” “you would be even more beautiful if you lost some weight”. I heard that a lot. But that’s it. Just my face was pretty. I did not feel pretty or attractive at all. When my husband would say those things I kind of took offense as if he was lying to me. It was hard to take those compliments.
I’m a giver for my family and always have been. I always put my children first and at times I felt like I was losing who I am. Me…”Elizabeth” the focus has been on who “mom” is. And the pressure of being what I think a mom should be. When I turned 30 in January something hit me, a fire lit inside my soul. Thirty seemed like such a big number. I’ve been through a lot in my life. I decided then that I was going to change the things that have held me back. I was going to push myself to limits that would normally make me uncomfortable. I was going to put MYSELF first and not feel guilty about it. I deserved it. I started to focus on my health and try new adventures with friends.
I have followed other boudoir photographers and would admire and like those pictures. Always saying, “When I’m skinny I’ll do it”, “When I lose this weight, I’ll do it”, “Maybe one day”, and then more doubt would push those thoughts into negativity and I would body shame myself. I’ll never look like those girls…ever. I finally stumbled across Torrid Boudoir where I saw these curvy, beautiful, and inspiring women! I started to read the blogs, I liked her business page and eventually joined the VIP group. And wow. Just WOW! These were total boss babes and the clients are always on fire! It was uplifting, inspiring and beautiful to read how some women had similar struggles as myself. I went to the VIP event and was nervous. I still had doubt that I would ever do a photo shoot like this. I met other ladies who were former clients and also met a beautiful woman who had a session booked and we chatted during the event. Reading her blog specifically was beautiful. Having met her and seeing how she was nervous too, but her pictures were amazing and it’s beautiful to see that end result on how it made her feel.
Once I was there at the studio and I got to meet Elizabeth, Sarah and Lauren it was so amazing. The energy was contagious. They were so empowering. The whole experience from start to finish is what made me feel like I could possibly do this. The interaction between each other and the clients sealed the deal for me. I felt welcomed in the body I was in. I didn’t feel like the “big girl” in the room of a “skinny equals beautiful” boudoir studio.
That event was in April and I had just started to really focus on my health and start a Keto way of eating. I was losing inches and weight and feeling awesome about myself. I decided I was just going to go for it. I had already started doing things that were out of my norm and how cool would this be to top my 30th year of life. The big finish of my 30th birthday. I have put in the work mentally to finally love my body and treat it like a temple. To care for it and love It. It has provided me 3 beautiful boys and I want to celebrate that. I have been working really hard and however I look when I walk into that studio will be the body I have worked for, the body that housed my babies, the body my husband loves and the body I have finally started to love myself.
After booking my session and paying the session fee it felt more real. Seeing my Pinterest board and pinning ideas has been surreal. I recently had my phone consultation that pushed it even further with how real this is becoming. I think about it all the time. Like I said…so many ladies share how it has changed how they see themselves. I want that experience too. This is a gift for myself, and I can’t wait to come back and share my experience when it’s all said and done. I know I am in good hands or I never would have made this decision. I trust the ladies of the Torrid Boudoir team, and I am counting down the days! It’s a very vulnerable thing to do, but I am more ready than ever. I trust these ladies!